So, I stepped in dog poo. Ironically while walking my own dog, plastic bag in hand. It's on these walks that I've established 3 types of dog owner:
1. The Responsible Dog Owner. You pick up after your pet and dispose of the bag properly.
2. The Misguided Hippie. You are the kind of person who believes in leaving the mess au naturel because after all, it's biodegradable. Which I am not totally convinced of to begin with. I've been walking past the same superturd for months and that thing is impervious to the elements. Snow, rain, global warming - it ain't budging.
Assuming dog doo DOES biodegrade, your pup isn't doing us any favours. Chances are it's going to end up on the bottom of a flip flop long before it breaks down and becomes part of the enriching cycle of life. The whole environmental tilt you try to convince yourself of is a complete fallacy, since the truth is, you just don't care. But you need an angle in case anyone calls you on your behaviour when they catch you slinking away from your dog's dirty delivery.
3. The Partial Picker. You confuse me. You actually pick up the mess, tie the bag and then leave the bag right there on the ground. Some days in my neighbourhood, I feel like I'm picking my way through a constellation map of poo bags. You already DID the icky part but then you didn’t follow through.
Are you embarrassed to carry a bag of dog doo down the street until you reach a garbage can? To this, I say - nay! You should flaunt that poo bag like it's a Hermes purse! Twirl it around a finger, toss it in the air! Swagger. It's the closest thing to screaming, BEHOLD MY BAG OF DOG CRAP! I AM A RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNER! Although, you can do that too if you want.
Look, no dog owner enjoys handling the stuff - even through a thin membrane of plastic. But put it into perspective. This is the same animal that licks his privates, pilfers turds from the cat litter, pukes and eats it. Oh, and then licks your face. And here you are, drawing the line at picking up its poo. Silly monkey.
Bottom line. If you have a dog - you have a responsibility to your neighbours, your dog and my shoes to pick up after it. Just be happy no one is asking you to wipe.
For more Nat, check out her blog at www.natlauzon.com or on the air from 10 -1 on Mix 96
I stepped in dog poo
I stepped in dog poo
nat.lauzon@themix.com
I never intended to write about it, but sometimes a topic chooses you. Literally. And even though you might try to scrape that topic off on the sidewalk or remove it with a twig - you know it's still there. Wedged deep in the tread of your consciousness. And the only thing left is to confront it.
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